Alright, grab your drink of choice and relax because we are getting personal here today; I’m talking about my personal journey of loving my body.
Since I was 14 years old I have struggled with loving my body. Like most women, I compared myself to what the media portrayed as “Beautiful, Gorgeous, and Skinny” Along with my peers at school, work, and family. My story is a bit different, but maybe someone reading this may relate to.
Talk about #throwback! I was 17 in these photos.
Growing up, in High School I was basically the 1% Latina in my whole High School. Being around body types that were primarily on the smaller side I always compared myself that I was bigger and needed to lose weight to be attractive. As an active teenager, I did 4 years of Water Polo, Swimming, and Dancing. I was fit. With my fast metabolism back then and the 2-hour workouts 5 days a week when I was participating in actives sports, I maintained a slim figure. But I never saw myself as that. I used only eat Craisins and drink Vitamin Water before an event where I was gonna be seen by many people, Why? Afraid someone would comment that I gained weight. My biggest fear was becoming fat.
I started college and my routine changed. I couldn’t rely on sport activities anymore to keep myself active. I definitely took it for granted in High School. At this time Will and I started dating going through the honeymoon phase of a relationship; going out on dates which meant eating out, so I naturally gain some weight when I starting college but looking back, I only gained about 5 pounds. I felt I gained 20 pounds I hated the way I looked/felt. I had soo much anxiety when I would see friends or family that haven’t seen in a while because I was afraid that the first thing they would notice was if I gained weight. This cycle of fear and anxiety about my weight went on for 8 more years.
Latina families are known to be blunt about appearances towards their family members including mine. I bawled for hours once when my Grandma pointed out that I was gaining weight. It doesn’t stop there. Throw in the Mainstream Media that puts Latina women on a pedestal on having to look like Jennifer Lopez or Sofia Vergara. Too skinny? You need to eat! Too Chubby? Go on a diet! My culture never seems to be happy with our appearances unless we are perfect. Luckily there is more awareness on this topic from Latina Influencers. Some of my favorites are Jenny Lorenzo and Kat Lazzo. Seriously, check these kick-ass Mujeres out! They are killing the social media game calling out our own culture and how we can be better!
Might be wondering: “Why do you blog if you have insecurities?” Well, one of my close friends and blogger Kara aka Whimsy Soul told me that starting her blog has actually has given her more confidence. By photographing yourself almost every day and being surrounded by other empowering women really improves your self-esteem! She is currently having a challenge on Instagram Check out her blog post for more info on it!
What do I do currently to stay positive about my body? Well recently seeing a therapist every week, surrounding myself with positive friends/family that empower me, and having a partner that loves and cares for the real me, not just for my body. Just writing this post has given me a sense of release and is very therapeutic. It has taken me a long time to open about this. I felt that I had to be 100% confident and love my body to speak about Body Positivity.
Reality is I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it, and that is ok. It’s okay to have a bad day, and it’s okay to feel good about yourself. It is all part of the process and journey.
There are days I looked at my body and wished I was slimmer. I wished I didn’t have stomach fat, back rolls, or love handles. But this is my body and I’m not going to let others or my own negative thoughts stop me from doing what I love. I love blogging, filming YouTube videos, and modeling. Just because I may not fit into the mold of a perfect Instagram model doesn’t mean I can’t strut my stuff on my social media platforms!
I remember someone saying that “Your body at 18 will be different than your current body now, and your body 10 years from now will be different than your body today” Give your body the love and care it needs and thank it for getting you this far in life. If you relate to any part of this blog post please comment below! I would love to know your story. #loveyourbody
Main swimsuit featured here by Summersalt